Men and women, the work at home

Warren Farrell points out that women get saddled with the ongoing housework, meals, laundry, and so forth.

Men get saddled with intermittent work in line with:

From WOMEN CAN'T HEAR WHAT MEN DON'T SAY by Warren Farrell:

WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TIME DO YOU VS. YOUR PARTNER DO THESE CHORES?

1. Activities most likely to break an arm, leg, or neck, or to crack a
skull: In your relationship, who climbs tall ladders or checks out the roof? For example, who uses ladders to do house painting (e.g., reaching for a spot we've missed that's too far away on a homemade scaffold on a windy day), or to clean outside windows; or to go into the attic? Who shovels wet snow off a roof to avoid roof damage, resulting in many men slipping off the roof every winter)?

A man who falls off a roof or ladder is lucky if he breaks only an arm; some men, though, are paralyzed for life, or killed; others find shoveling snow off a roof leads to problems that get them classified in one of the next two categories.

2. Activities most likely to trigger heart attacks: Shoveling snow off a driveway or sidewalk; pushing a car that's out of gas off a crowded street into the gas station; playing tag, soccer, or basketball with the kids for a "little too long" while trying to teach the children that a parent can be a playmate too; or carrying a sleepy child from an upstairs hed to the backseat of a car and back into bed again without waking up the child, only to find Dad's heartbeat getting erratic and pain thrusting through his arm.

3. Activities most likely to cause lower back problems and hernia
operations: Moving furniture or twisting his back as he juggles a heavy suitcase into the backseat of a two-door car (or behind other suitcases in a trunk); or trying to carry a computer up a down staircase; or moving the refrigerator or some file cabinets; or moving tables at a church event or picnic.

4. Assembly: Mail-order products, toys, bikes, furniture, bookcases, beds; putting up kids' plastic pools, backyard tents.

5. Barbecuing: Shopping for barbecue, charcoal, propane; basting, marinating, cooking; cleaning up of grill, tongs, ashes, etc.

6. Bodyguard: at home (e.g., who usually checks it out in the middle of the night when you and your partner are awakened by a noise that sounds like someone has just broken into your home, and you know they could have a gun?); in public places (who plays bodyguard when nightfall turns a beautiful park into a dangerous park or a quaint side street into dangerous alley; or when a lonely hiking trail proves to be a rattlesnake haven; or when a ski slope becomes an avalanche?). We've all read stories of a man saving a woman from a burning house or a raging river or a crashed car. Women often save children in these situations--and even lift cars to save children. Although I've asked over a million people (on TV and radio) to send me a story of a woman risking her life to save an adult man, so far, no stories. Every time a woman and man walk together in a public place, he unconsciously serves as an unpaid bodyguard.

7. Camping: It starts with taking psychological responsibility for avoiding disaster (checking weather predictions and safety of the location, buying correct tent and camping gear, taking responsibility for not getting lost, knowing how to use compass, etc.), then carrying the primary backpack (often including the stove and a kerosene lamp), erecting the tent, digging drainage trenches, gathering firewood, building the fire, hoisting food away from animals. The man is often the camping home buyer, home mover, and homemaker.

8. Car buying: Price negotiation, Consumer Guide/Blue Book research.

9. Car maintenance and repair: Checking hoses, belts, tire pressures, vacuuming inside, applying Armor All; comparisons of prices with mechanics, tire changing (see also Emergencies).

10. Carpentry: From putting up shelves (in garage, basement, and closets) to repairing loose fence slats, to making bookcases, to building a doghouse.

11. Christmas: Putting up lights on house and tree; tree purchase, set-up, dismantling and disposal; retrieving boxes of ornaments from dusty attic or storage area.

12. "Male cleaning": Car washing (and waxing); cleaning all painting tools for reuse (brushes, rollers, pans, guides); cleaning out the basement, attic, fireplace and gutters (the darkest, dirtiest, hottest and coldest parts of the house); cleaning filters of air conditioning and heating units; cleaning yard; bathing of dogs; and, if there's a pool or Jacuzzi. . . . (See also: Barbecuing; Diaper Changing, Male Equivalents of; Guns and Weapons; Activities most likely to break. . .)

13. Coaching-as-child care: Baseball (T-Ball, CAP Leagues, Little League), softball (e.g., Bobby Soxers), football (Pop Warner), roller hockey, field hockey, ice hockey, soccer; more informal coaching-as-child care via "playing together" in basketball, or throwing, catching, and hitting a ball instructions in individualized sports such as tennis; instructions in self-defense (aikido, boxing, wrestling).

14. Computer buying: Researching best hardware and software; comparing prices, new vs. used markets, etc.

15. Confrontations--with neighbors or strangers: "Go tell the neighbors their dog's barking too loud." Or, you've just gotten into a car accident with a stranger; who approaches the other driver when everyone is emotionally off center?

16. Dead animal disposal: DAD quickly comes to mean Dead Animal Disposer when the gerbil dies, the rat's been trapped, when the mouse has been lead into temptation, or when the dog's been run over and the street has blood all over. What's worse for some dads, though, is having to kill the almost-dead animal-when DAD means Dying Animal Disposer.

17. Decks: Building, sanding, staining, sealing.

18. Diaper changing, male equivalents of: Plunging a backed-up toilet; wiping up a child's vomit when carsick on a vacation; cleaning up after dog doo from own dog and neighbors'.

19. Digging: Holes and ditches, removing of boulders, tree stumps, etc.

20. Dinner when company's visiting: Meat carving, wine opening, cocktail making (careful guys, most women still do most everything else when company's visiting).

21. Disciplining of kids: "Wait till Daddy comes home."

22. Dragon-killing-modern version: Swatting flies, stepping on roaches, squishing spiders--all without a sword (or, for pacifist performers, removing the spider without hurting it!).

23. Driving: To and from functions that both sexes go to together, especially when conditions are hazardous (e.g., when caught in rush hour in a strange city; when caught in snow on an icy mountain road; when caught in heavy rain, wind, and fog at night, or when in a foreign country), or when both are exhausted or have had a bit too much to drink; on long trips, especially late at night while the family sleeps; or on a motorcycle (have you ever seen a woman on a motorcycle with a man hanging on?).

The automobile and motorcycle are the modern-day white horse. Like the man on the white horse, his role involves more accidents; the man on the white horse, though, never had to worry about a DUI citation!

24. Emergency prevention: In home (e.g., noticing and repairing frayed wires, plugs, sockets, smoke detectors); in car (putting chains on tires; being certain all the cars' fluids [oil, transmission, anti-freeze] are being changed on schedule, tool kit and flares are adequate, flashlight has batteries, etc.); via nature (battening down windows, putting sand bags in the trunk before a blizzard, making sure trees aren't creating a hazard to house or people should a storm arise), on the ... (making sure there's cash in the wallet and gas in the car).

25. When emergencies arise despite prevention: Sandbagging; changing a tire on a cold night in the rain on a dangerous part of the road in the bad part of town; taking the walk for five gallons of gas when the car runs out; or risking putting the battery cable on the wrong side of the battery.

And so on for 54 entries.