“Of course it’s bullshit, Kirk. The last four years have been bullshit, that’s why we’re trying to sue outside of Oneida County. I can’t do much for you until there’s a hearing, and that’s not going to happen until Monday.”
“There’s nothing you can do to get me out, Fred? It’s rough in there, I’m claustrophobic.”
“I’m doing the best I can.”
After hanging up with Fred, the daytime correctional officer led me back to my cell. “Officer, is it possible to put me in a bigger cell? I didn’t know how claustrophobic I was, but it’s hard on my mind to be in such a small cell.
“I’ll ask the sergeant,” he said.
“Possible you can give me another blanket to use as a pillow?”
“No.”
I didn’t hear back from that guard until I was granted bail and released approximately 6 hours later.
I spent the next 4 hours in the jail cell and almost went crazy. I started doing jumping jacks in the cell to get some exercise, but then I started sweating and realized I hadn’t had a shower in 36 hours. I didn’t want to get even more gross by sweating, so I stopped exercising, knocked on the cell door, and a guard appeared.
“Hey man, I’m really claustrophobic in this cell, and I haven’t showered since yesterday morning. Any chance you can let me out to take a shower?”
“There’s a policy where we aren’t allowed to let you shower until you’ve been here longer than 48 hours.”
“Ok. Got it. I’ve been singing to myself to get my mind off of my claustrophobia. Is it possible there’s a book out there that you can give me to read?”
“Yes, I think I can get you a book.”
That, folks, was the first bit of kindness I received at the Oneida County Jail after being there for 22 hours.
Two hours later and a few chapters into a charming vampire novel, I received another knock on my jail cell.
“Bangstad, you’ve been granted bail at $1,150. If you’d like to use the phone to call someone to help you post bail, I’ll let you out.”
I called Fred, who had been given my wallet by one of my employees the night before, and he paid my bail with my Amex card. I got a few Delta frequent flyer miles along with my freedom.
As the jailers were preparing my release forms, I asked the guard on duty if he had some soap.
“Sure,” he said as he reached into a closet.
“Wait, so that means you could have given me soap all along?” I asked.
“No, we’re not allowed to give you soap until you’ve been here 24 hours, but since you’re being released, I’ll give it to you.”
“Jesus,” I muttered under my breath “who makes these rules.”
As I was walking out of the jail to freedom, I saw the guard who had never gotten back to me after promising to ask his sergeant if he could put me in a larger cell. I also saw a tv screen that showed ~12 empty cells of various sizes.
“You know, man. This guy just gave me some soap, you could have given me that extra blanket for a pillow.”
“There are hundreds of people in this jail. If I gave you a blanket, I’d have to give everyone a blanket.”
“I just asked for this soap, and your colleague gave it to me without suggesting he had to give everyone else a bar of soap. Has every other prisoner here asked for an extra blanket?”
“There were not enough blankets for you.”
“When you’re kind, there’s always enough blankets.”
That’s the end of my story, which was the most harrowing 24 hours of my life--not only because my 1st, 4th, and 14th amendment rights were violated, but because I found out I had claustrophobia in a tiny holding cell at the Oneida County Jail.
I should have known I was claustrophobic because I once freaked out while getting an MRI, where they insert your body into a small metal tube. It wouldn’t have mattered had I known to tell the Oneida County correctional staff about my newly-discovered mental malady or not, because they simply don’t care.
“If others can handle it, you can too.”
I know that my story is no different from the many other folks who get locked up in county jails throughout Wisconsin. The only difference is that my mouthpiece is probably a lot bigger than theirs.
Apart from the crazy reasons I was locked up in the first place, I have a newfound disgust for the way prisoners are treated in Wisconsin, and I vow that if I’m ever in a position to make prison conditions better, I’ll do it.
As to why I was locked up in the first place, I’ll say this:
Gregg Walker was able to use bale jumping and witness intimidation as reasons for Sheriff Hartman to lock me up, because Vilas County Judge Martha Milanowski refused to dismiss the criminal defamation complaint against me from last September. I’ve heard that Wisconsin circuit court judges are loath to dismiss criminal cases because they want to protect the system—that system being the cordial cooperation between local judges, district attorneys, and county sheriffs. In protecting that system, she ignored US Supreme Court precedent--which de-criminalized defamation in 1964 with the landmark Garrison v Louisiana decision. Had she dismissed my case when she had the opportunity, the bail conditions Hartmann used to lock me up wouldn't have existed anymore.
I’ve been told I can’t sue Sheriff Hartman for wrongful imprisonment until I win my criminal defamation lawsuit, which could take years.
I've also been told that the five customers of ours--including teachers and doctors--who were arrested and jailed for simply being vocal members of my audience, have a very strong wrongful imprisonment lawsuit against the county if they choose to pursue it. |
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