Seth -- compromises

Seth: "Ruburt has learned to make compromises, not always gracefully, but he has learned that they are sometimes important. He is against them on principle however, and very straightforward in his approach. He saw your life adding up to a circle of compromises -- compromises that would cost you your vitality, both of you, in the end.

"In some (underlined) respects he was right about compromises, and some made in the past out of well-meaning ignorance cannot easily be changed. These concern your family.

"Too many compromises do sap your strength and energy, and the work compromise was inhibiting your painting to some extent. The focus upon compromise automatically forces you to withhold directness and energy in all of your pursuits. After a while despite yourself you take on to some extent the coloration and attitudes of others who live by compromise entirely, until your own clear-cut ideas and purposes seem more and more unrealistic.

(An excellent point.)

"This is the fear that Ruburt felt for you. Now. Your own ideas and goals are worthy ones, and yours for a reason. They have within them the power to develop and mature. It was known, then, that you would leave before you gave notice, unconsciously perceived.

"There is some envy. You did not say that you intended to devote yourself to your own painting, and this should be verbalized. The family compromises began long ago, out of a misguided sense of sympathy, and now to some extent or another will continue. Here you are caught in a compromise of emotions. Ruburt feels this particularly strongly, because he is so sensitive over such relationships to begin with. The situation however is such that almost any clear emotion is automatically denied expression, shunted aside and often replaced completely by an opposite—all under the guise of the idea of (in quotes) “being good and understanding.”

(Again, excellent material.)

"Unconsciously the emotions are quite clearly picked up on all of your parts, and clear communication, bodily or verbally, almost completely cut off. The quite legitimate spontaneous desires to be of help are therefore often hidden beneath a barrage of resentments at being forced to help for the wrong reasons.

"Help given resentfully is little help. It does not help the giver or the receiver to any strong degree, and may in fact harm both. Help given spontaeously out of love is the only kind of real help to giver or receiver, and yet this important kind of help is often denied expression because of the inner resentments.

"Your mother realizes when she is pulling emotional blackmail on you, and recognizes when you come, willingly or unwillingly. The situation's roots lie so in the past, and so pervade the present, that practically little can be changed without the greatest efforts. She knows you come out of obligation. That is like a slap in the face that she must tolerate, and because of her own actions and stress laid upon what was right and proper at the expense of true feelings.

"Your mother is quite shrewd however, and has grown these years. In the past she would have been quite able to face and handle everyone's honesty, and honesty would have been far kinder. So the true love and compassion goes crying, while you are forced to express an exteriour love and compassion many times.

"All of this is quite legitimate, and that is undistorted."

The Personal Sessions, Vol 2, Session 603, by Jane Roberts